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How to Cope with Severe Loss

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          Severe loss is one of the hardest psychological issues to deal with. Severe loss can come from the death of a family member or the abandonment of a significant other. This loss can be so damaging to your spirit and interfere with every aspect of your life. Once you have been emotionally attached to someone for a long period of time, and they are suddenly gone from your life your mind does not know how to cope with it and deteriorates rapidly. Symptoms of severe loss include depression, emotional instability and lack of control, and inability to perform normal daily tasks. Unfortunately if there is no way to bring back the person whom you’ve lost then you must learn to cope. Follow these steps to survive a sudden severe loss in your life.



Step 1

Take a period of time to be alone in order to mourn your loss. Some time alone is healthy after a severe loss to contemplate the severity of what just happened. The worst thing to do is to deny what just happened. Denial only prolongs your recovery time and does not solve anything except prolong your ultimate suffering. It is not healthy to deny a death or abandonment. You must work through the terrible initial feelings in order to improve later.

Step 2

Start surrounding yourself with people who still care about you and give you value in life. These may be family members, loved ones, or friends. Spend more time with them than before your loss and take solace in the fact that there are still people out there who care about you. If you do not have anyone to turn to after a huge loss consider joining a support group. Support groups will have people with similar situations as you and you will be able to gain comfort in your shared problems.



Step 3

Begin to reintroduce things in your life that used to make you happy in the past. This includes restarting an old hobby that you lost when you became involved with the person you lost for example. Using your new free time in a constructive way that used to make you happy will reintroduce a little joy into your life. Although this does not come close to a substitute for your recent loss it will be better than closing yourself off from the rest of the world and crying alone.



Step 4

Try a new hobby or exercise routine. Start something new and exciting that you would never have tried before. You may join a gym for the first time, or become a member of a club for example. Doing activities with new people will help you form new bonds and create new connections.



Step 5

Understand that you will never get the person you lost back, but their memory will always be alive through you. And you can cherish all the good times and experiences you had together as well as the memories that you created. Try talking to others about things you used to do together that made you happy.



Step 6

Remember that the key is not to eliminate all memories of this person in your life. The key is to learn to live with this loss and lead a somewhat productive life. Your life may not be as productive as it once was before, however the brain copes with loss better and better as time goes on. And although the pain will be excruciatingly difficult at first, after many months and years it will get easier on its own as you live your life.



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